Samurai Deeper SHUT UP!
by Zephio
Summary: “I’m so strong” says Kyo. “Oh my god they’re moving so fast I can’t see them!” yells Yuya. “blah blah blah 4 years ago” says every enemy. A hilarious, stereotypical, and overtheedge story leaving you thinking “wtf?”


So first of all I'd like to thank you first reading this. I've written 1 finished and 1 not-finished fanfic. I'm better at comedies than serious, so this will be a lot better than my other story "Shattered".

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**Samurai Deeper SHUT UP!**

**Chapter 1-My Name's "My Name's Demon Eyes Kyo come and die!"**

"Oh my god!" shouts Yuya slapping her hands against her face making it look like someone beat her, I mean "she fell down the stairs!" "Kyo! You have that evil cross on your back!"  
"Your point?"  
"My brother's murder has that same cross!"  
"Oh real fucking smart there Yuya. About a MILLION other people have this same tattoo!"

Yuya's jaw drops to the floor. Okuni picks it up, gets dirt on her boob, and runs off to go bath in a "hot spring" or whatever the fuck they call them. Because of course, EVERY PLACE IN THE WORLD has random ponds of hot water.

"Well fine!" shouts Yuya attempting to act tough and not fooling anyone. "I'm going to go search for my brother's murderer"  
"Actually you're going to find in 5 volumes that Kyoshiro killed your brother."  
"WHAT?" she screams and swings around.  
"Actually," corrects Yukimura, "she'll find in 2 volumes, since this is volume 6."  
"If it's volume 13 then she already should know…" states Benitora.  
"Wow Benitora can count..." says Sasuke.  
"Since when is it volume 6?" argues Kyo.  
"Since I said so you shit-face!" yells Yukimura.  
"Oh no you didn't!"  
"Oh yeah I did!"  
"You wanna bring it?"  
"Yeah I do!"  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah!"  
"Yeah?"  
"OH YEAH!"

Suddenly some random villain pops out from behind and trees! BUM BUM BUUUUMMMMM!

"WUHAHAHAHAHA I'm so strong!"  
"Who are you?" asks Kyo, drawing his sword  
"blah blah blah. 4 years ago. blah blah Sekigahara. blah blah!"  
"Oh I remember you! You're that guy 4 years ago. blah blah blah!"  
"How can Kyo know this guy?" Asks Yuya to herself, doing that "omg they're moving so fast I can't see them omg!" face.

Kyo and whatever-his-name fight and whatever-his-name is dies. But suddenly Shindara pops up and captures Yuya!

"OMG help Kyo! I'm captured!"  
"WUHAHAHAHA!" laughs Shindara. "I've captured your precious Yuya! What now?"  
"Son of a bitch!" yells Kyo  
"Whahahaha are you angry I have Yuya?"  
"No! That means it's volume 7! And I was wrong!"  
"You were wrong……." repeats Saizo.  
"Shut up!" yells Kyo and stabs him with his sword. Saizo drops to the ground dead. "My name is Demon Eyes Kyo I'm Never Wrong!"  
"No, it's Demon Eyes Kyo Come And Die! You can't just add shit to your name whenever you feel like!" yells Yukimura.  
"Yes I sure as hell can!"  
"No you can't!"  
You wanna bet?"  
"Yeah I do, I'll bet a lot!"  
"You sure?"  
"Yeah!"  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah!"  
"SHUT THE FUCK UP I HAVE CAPTURED YUYA!"  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah"  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah"  
"Oh son of a bitch…" says Shindara.

And at the moment Shinrei pops up too and makes out with Yuya. Benitora's jaw drops to the floor, Sasuke picks it up, and goes off to jerk off in the woods.

"Oh no!" shouts Benitora, "He's planting DRAGONS!"  
"Maybe he's just horny…." states Bontenmaru.  
"NO! DRAGONS!"  
"Please. Kill yourself"  
"Wait!" stops Kyo. "If Shinrei's here, then isn't it volume 12?"  
"Either way you'd be wrong" says Yukimura.  
"My name is "I AM DEMON EYES KYO I AM ALWAYS RIGHT!""  
"Jesus Christ you've done some stupid things before, but JESUS CHRIST!"

**Preview to Chapter 2: The Mibu Clan-Everyone's doing it!**

"Come and kill me Kyo or Yuya dies!" shouts Shinrei.  
"……."  
"I said come and kill me Kyo or Yuya dies!"  
"……"  
"Hey! Are you even listening to me? I SAID-"  
"If it were volume 13, then we'd have met Muramasa…." says Kyo.  
"So maybe it really is volume 7…" says Bontenmaru.  
"Which means either Shinrei's early…or…." says Kyo.  
"It's a BLOW-UP SHINREI!" yells Yukimura.  
"I was WONDERING about the air-tank….."

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Hope you liked it! Thanks for reading, keep reviewing and I'll keep writing! 


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